


Time Jump

by AwesomeKickAss



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1530155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwesomeKickAss/pseuds/AwesomeKickAss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The HIMYM gang from 2005 meet their future selves through time travel. How will they react to the changes? Totally ignores all the events of the episode they dared to call the finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Jump

“Hello everybody!” exclaimed Barney, bursting into the apartment.

“What do you want?” asked Ted, as he tried to assemble this peace of furniture without reading the instructions.

“I just got us tickets to see the grand canyon!” he exclaimed.

“Barney,” Lily said, exasperated “Now really isn’t the time.”

“Yeah, it’s hard enough moving all of Lily stuff into this apartment as it is!” said Robin.

“Hey, hey, hey. Nobody asked you, Rachel.” Barney said.

“Robin.” she corrected under her breath.

“Listen, maybe in a week or so, we could totally go to the Grand Canyon and help you pick up chicks. But now we’re a bit busy.” said Marshall.

“I don’t even know why you guys are even trying. It’s been proven that 83% of couples break up within a month of living together. You guys don’t have a chance.” said Barney.

“That’s just a number you made off the top of your head!” said Lily.

“No, I read it in Bro Magazine.” informed Barney.

“We’re not going to break up. We’re going to get married and have 6 kids.” announced Marshall.

“Two.” corrected Lily.

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” said Barney.

“I will.” said Marshall.

“How are you going to prove it?” asked Robin.

“Simple, Robin… Time travel!” announced Marshall.

“Wait, what?” she asked.

“When we first became friends with Barney, we once came across a rumor of a time machine that a scientist had invented. He never told anyone about the machine to stop bad people from taking it. However, if anyone manages to find him, he will grant them one usage of the machine.” explained Marshall.

“Yeah, but there’s no way the drunk dude was telling the truth.” said Lily.

“And even if it were true, why do you want to waist time travel on that?” asked Ted. Both he and Lily were ignored.

“So what do you say, Barney? Care to help me find the scientist?” Marshall asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Challenge accepted!” said Barney, and they both rushed out of the room.

The room stayed silent for a moment.

“I’m just gonna, uh, help them out…” said Ted, not wanting to be left out of the fun.

“NO!” said Lily “You are helping me and Robin unpack my stuff!”

“But—” Ted said.

“No!”

####

Three hours later…

“Guys, guys, guys!” said Barney, as he and Marshall came bursting into the apartment.

“We found him! We found the scientist!” said Marshall excitedly.

“Really?!” said Ted, grinning.

“Already?” asked Lily.

“I know a guy…” explained Barney.

“His name is Professor Carrol and he lives in Queens!” announced Marshall.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” said Ted.

“All of us?” asked Robin.

“Of course, all of us!” said Barney. “This is a once in a life time opportunity! Just think about it! You’ll get to see how successful you’re gonna be, Marshall and Lily will get to see if they’re still together, Ted will get to see if you and him end up together— not gonna happen, by the way—, and I will get to see how many chicks I banged. It’s a win for all of us!” 

“You really want me to come?” asked Robin, arching an eyebrow.

“Uh…” Barney said “Yeah. I do.”

She grinned. “Okay, but only because you insist.” she said, as she brushed past him into the hallway.

####

They exited the lift and arrived in front of Carrol’s apartment. Barney knocked. A man, maybe 70, opened the door, stared at them, and put his glasses on.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Uh, hello, Professor Carrol. We are, um, here for the time machine.” Marshall explained.

The man stared at them for a moment, the turned around. “Fine, come in!” he said.

They entered the house, which a was big and messy, and followed the man into the living room. He stood in front of a very high-tech machine.

“You guys aren’t going to use it to go back in time and change something, are you?” he asked suspiciously.

“Uh, no, we just, uh— our friend here doesn’t believe me and Lily are going to end up together. We want to prove him wrong by going into our future.” he said.

“Um. Well okay.” the professor said. “Here’s how it works,” he started “You go into the machine—obviously— and you type in the date and the place you want to go to. For example; 2007, September 21st, Angelina Jolie’s house. You get it?” 

They all nodded.

“Good. Now once you do that, it will go through a vortex, or some other sciency thing. I don’t really know.” Carrol said.

“You don’t know? But didn’t you invent it?” asked Marshall.

“What? No. A future guy died and I kept it.” he said. “Anyway, once you get there, you just step out and do whatever you like. Then, to get back, press the ‘home’ button. It will bring you back to the last place you were, here. If the machine doesn’t come back, I will press the ‘home’ button on the remote, and your trip will be cut short. Are we clear?” he asked.

They all nodded.

“Good. I must warn you, try not to get in contact with anyone too important, like the President or something. Oh, and, as you are going to the future, depending on how far you travel, you will slowly start to forget once you get back, so by the time the time you travel to happens, you’ll have forgotten. We good?” he asked.

“Uh, sure.” Lily said.

“Good. See ya in a few moments—well, for me, at least.” he said as he pushed them into the machine.

They looked around, and saw a console with a keyboard. Barney started to type.

“Hey, can we go to my place?” asked Ted.

“What? Why?” asked Marshall.

“You guys got to find the professor as I had to sit around unpacking stuff. It’s only fair.” said Ted.

“Ugh, Ted. You only really want to see if, when we get out, Robin will be your wife and living with you. It’s not gonna happen.” said Barney.

“What? No, that’s not why!” he said.

“Uh, guys?” asked Robin.

“What?” they both asked, turning towards her.

“Can we just get on with it?” she yelled, making them wince.

“Fine. Year… 2023—seems like a good year—, Ted Mosby’s house.” said Barney out loud as he typed it into the machine.

It started to shake. Lily hung on to Marshall, and Ted and Barney to Robin. When the shaking stopped, they all headed out.

It was a nice apartment. But one they had never seen before.

“Hey, I thought we agreed that we’d go to my place!” Ted protested.

“Yeah, well, I typed in ‘Ted Mosby’s house’, so either you moved or we’re in a different Ted Mosby’s house.” said Barney.

“What?” asked Lily.

“Oh, god, that would be embarrassing.” said Robin.

Suddenly, they heard someone drop a bunch of plates behind them. They turned around and saw a beautiful brunette with big brown eyes staring at them, standing in a puddle of broken plates.

“Uh, hi…” said Ted sheepishly.

“Honey? What is it?” asked a man from the hallway. He walked in, and the gang realized it was future Ted. He stared at them.

“Heeeeeey,” said Barney. 

“Remember that drunk guy that said that this professor had invented a time travel machine?” asked Marshall.

“Well, here we are!” said Ted.

“And it’s normal that you don’t remember, apparently we’re gonna forget.” said Lily.

The two just stared at them for a moment more, and then the brunette turned to Future Ted. “You’re a time traveler?” she asked, smirking.

“Um, well, it seems so…” he said.

“Well, then, what are you waiting for? Introduce me!” she said.

“Uh, past me and friends…” he said “This is Tracy, my wife.” 

Present Ted’s face lit up, and he stepped forward and shook her hand. “Hi… uh, really nice to meet you.” he said.

“Uh, sorry about the plates…” said Lily.

“You guys gonna have some kind of dinner party? Cuz if you are, I say we just go over to future me’s house and have an orgy!” Barney announced.

“Actually,” said Tracy in such a passive way that it was clear that she was used to this sort of behavior from Barney, “You guys are coming over. All the kids are at sleep-overs or being kept by babysitters, so it’s just us adults. You’re free to join us.”

“Pff, you guys have kids? Hmm, I guess I’m the only one who still knows how to be awesome by this stage!” exclaimed Barney.

Tracy and future Ted both looked like they were about to say something, but decided not to.

“Just by curiosity… Lily and I are still together, right?” asked Marshall.

“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t you be together?” asked future Ted.

“Ha! In your face, Barney!” Lily exclaimed, and she and Marshall high-fived.

“What year are you from, anyway?” asked Tracy.

“We’re from 2005.” said Robin.

“Marshall and I just got engaged a few months ago.” said Lily.

“So, uh, I’m just gonna clean up the plates and get new ones.” said Tracy.

“No, let me.” said future Ted, as he disappeared off into the hallway.

“So, uh, how’d you two meet?” asked Lily.

“Oh, at a train station. It’s actually kind of funny, we nearly met like, loads of times before. Actually, I first saw him when he gave a class a my college. Well, it was the wrong class though. And then he dated my roommate. And on St Patrick’s day a few years earlier, you,” she pointed at Barney “dragged him to the party I was at, and he ended up taking my umbrella.” 

“Really?” asked Ted, entirely fascinated, even though the rest were still trying to figure out the whole ‘class’ thing.

Suddenly, there doorbell rang, and Tracy went to answer it. She opened the door, and there stood Marshall and Lily. They entered, hugged Tracy, and then stopped dead in their tracks 

“What the damn hell?” asked future Lily.

After an explanation, they continued asking questions.

“So, how was the wedding?” asked present Lily.

“It was… very stressful. We ended up just having Barney marry us under a tree.” Lily said.

“I married you? Up high!” said Barney, as he and Marshall high fived. Then he turned to Tracy. “So, when am I gonna show up?” he asked.

“Well, you should be here—” the doorbell rang “right about now.” she said.

She opened the door, and in came Robin and Barney.

After the explanation, Ted announced that dinner was ready. They all sat down.

“So, why is it you and future Robin showed up together? Naughty stuff?” Present Barney asked his future self, wiggling his eyebrows. Present Robin slapped his arm.

All the future people went silent, wondering how present Barney was going to react to the news.

“Actually, uh…” started future Robin.

“We’re married.” said future Barney.

Present Ted, Marshall, and Lily all spat out their drinks in the same time, and Barney and Robin just stared at their future selves, not believing what they were hearing.

“I’m sorry, what?” asked Barney.

“It sounded like you just said they were married…” said Ted.

“You were kidding, right? Oh, same old Barney, always messing with people…” Robin said, laughing nervously.

“Nope. They’re 100% serious.” said Future Ted.

“And how did it happen? What, did you decided it would be good for getting chicks out of your house in the morning, getting married?” asked Marshall. Future Barney and Lily glanced at each other.

“Haha, no.” laughed future Barney. “Me and Robin had a one night stand after we watched Sand Castles In The Sand,” this time, it was Robin’s time to spit out her drink, “and after I realized I had feelings for Robin. I wooed her, we started dating, then we eventually broke up because we didn’t work,” 

“So how did you end up getting married? You got drunk at Vegas and decided to rekindle the old magic?” asked Ted.

“No,” said future Robin “You see, even after we broke up, we couldn’t stop thinking about each other. We both started dating other people, but we ended up cheating on them with each other. We felt incredibly guilty, and we eventually decided to leave our partners for each other.”

“I did it, but Robin chickened out. A few other things happened in the next few months, including a pregnancy scare, but then I met—well, tried to hit on, actually— a lovely woman in a shop who psycho-analyzed me and made me realize I needed to win Robin over. So I made the biggest play ever, and it ended with me proposing to her on top of The Empire State Building,” said future Barney “Then we needed a band for our wedding, so Ted got us one. At the reception I found out that the bass player was the woman that talked me into winning Robin’s heart. She had to leave early, and at the train station, she met no other than Ted Mosby. And now she’s sitting at this table right now.” 

Everyone turned towards Tracy, and she gave a shy little wave.

“I met you… at Barney and Robin’s wedding?” asked Ted.

“Well, technically, after the wedding.” corrected future Ted.

“Oh, and Barney, earlier on, when you said that you were the only one still awesome, you were wrong; you also have a daughter.” said future Marshall.

“What?” asked Barney.

“Ellie. And I am still awesome! And so are Robin and Ellie, by the way.” said future Barney.

“Wait, wait, wait,” interrupted Robin “You know about Robin sparkles?” 

“Yep!” all the future people said in the same time.

“Oh god.” Robin said, embarrassed.

“What’s Robin Sparkles?” asked Lily.

“And we also know about Robin Daggers!” said future Lily, ignoring her past self. Robin sunk into her seat.

“So, wait, why is Ellie awesome and not the other kids?” challenged Marshall, changing the subject.

“Don’t get offended, Marshall, your first is is pretty awesome too!” said future Barney.

“And why only that one?” asked Lily.

“Because his full name is Marvin Wait-For-It Eriksen.” said future Barney, as if it were obvious.

“Really?” asked all the past people in the same time.

“Dude, that’s awesome!” said Barney, as he high-fived his future self.

They talked for awhile more, about the kids, embarrassing stories, how Robin and Tracy once got to second base, and then it started getting late, and they had to go home.

“See ya in 18 years!” yelled Robin, as she entered the time machine.

They pressed home, and exited the machine. They said goodbye to Professor Carrol, and then left his building.

Marshall and Lily and Ted headed off to their apartment, talking about their future lives.

Barney turned to Robin. “So, uh, you wanna go to laser tag?” he asked.   
She frowned. “Aren’t you afraid that will mess up our timelines?” she asked.

“I’m sure we went to laser tag together quite a few times before we hooked up.” he assured.

She hesitated. “You know what? Okay.” she said as she started walking towards the subway. “Just as long as you promise not to make any sexual jokes about how we’ll be married someday!” she said, her back still turned to him.

He smirked. “I promise.”

—The End.


End file.
